CLAG'EM

A marble slab of Langdale slate
Nice soft sugar from't Market Place
Fresh butter too from't self same spot,
But peppermint's best from't Kendal shop
A brand new nail from Hawkshead way'
And a bit of summat that makes it pay
Bought on't way from Bowness Bay
Where't Tizzy Wizzy used to play.
Soft water fresh from Scandal Beck
Will then mix in along with't rest.
To make it — ah - that's kept in't head
But hand it down before you're dead.
So here's best wishes go ahead
And make this tried and well loved spread,
T'will bring to mind days past and gone'
When Mary's Lane felt not so long
And't Clag'em smell just lured you on.
Of sledding time down Kirkstone Hill
With Mabel Harry Vera and Jim Fine hunting days when Brait called out
"Put bit in't pocket to keep cold out"
And tearing'! pinny on't dog kennel door
Through letting out Tipple to lick't Clag'em oft floor
Of old Father Dover over t' wall Thinking we'd taken his apples and all
Till asking us to open't mouth A piece of Clag'em just popped out.
A caning just for being late
Through listening ft lads singing their grace
And chewing some Clag'em on't way to church
For reaching top notes there's nothing to touch.
This rhein and rhyme could fill a book of things
Which happened in one's youth
And oft will raise an inward laugh
When country roads have to be tramped
Still sucking Clag'em to keep't cold out.
E.D.